Oh as I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be 
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be 
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me 
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be? 

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, 
still you can not see 
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me 
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more 
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before 

And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be 
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be 
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me 
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be 

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, 
still you can not see 
That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me 
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more 
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before 

And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be 
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be 
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me 
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be 

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, 
still you can not see 
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me 
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more 
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before 

And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be 
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be 
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me 
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be 

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, 
still you can not see 
They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me 
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more 
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before 

And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be 
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be 
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me 
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be 

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, 
still you can not see 
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me 
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more 
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before 

Abaixo os 2 ultimos versos escritos inicialmente mas que foram descartados depois: 

And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be 
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be 
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me 
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be 

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, 
still you can not see 
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me 
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more 
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before 

As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be 
I saw a thing in her thing where my old thing should be 
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me 
Who owns that thing in your thing where my old thing should be 

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, 
still you can not see 
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me 
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more 
But hair on a tin whistle sure I never saw before