Cinderella's on her bedroom floor
She's got a
Crush on the guy at the liquor store
Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore
And she forgets why she came here

Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood
For shame she says
None for you dear prince, I'm tired today
I'd rather sleep my whole life away 
than have you keep me from dreaming

'Cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried about the maiden though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing

Snow White is doing dishes again cause
What else can you do
With seven itty-bitty men?
Sends them to bed and calls up a friend
Says will you meet me at midnight?

The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says
Would have cut it myself 
if I knew men could climb hair
I'll have to find another tower somewhere 
and keep away from the windows

'Cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried about the maiden though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom
Man made up a story said that I should believe him
Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight
But I don't want the next best thing
So I sing and hold my head down 
and I break these walls round me
Can't take no more of your fairytale love

'Cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried about the maiden though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing

I don't care
I don't care
Worry bout the maiden though you know
She's only waiting 
Spent the whole life being graded 
on the sanctity of patience and a dumb appreciation
But the story needs some mending 
and a better happy ending
Cause I don't want the next best thing
No no I don't want the next best thing