In far Switzerland
Lives a goatherd who's hand
Has a palm that is calloused and worn
From his idle vice
Despite mum's advice
Not to play with his old alpine horn
When he stuck his c*ck
In a large cuckoo clock
His helmet went right through the cranker
He went "Yodel-o yodel-o yodel-o arghh!"
And they call him the yodelling w*nker
In the mountains up there
Young women are rare
And that's why the goatsherd depends
On holes found in trees
And emmental cheese
And the a*ses of four-legged friends
But one nanny goat
Aimed a kick at his scrote
And caught him one heck of a flanker
He went "Yodel-o yodel-o yodel-o arghh!"
And they call him the yodelling w*nker
Oh Yodel-o-yodel-o-yodel-o-do
He's singing so melodious
His voice seems to go to a yodel-o-do
Whenever he tightens his truss
* While digging for sheep
In a snowdrift so deep
The corpse of a tourist he found
She was stiff as a board
But when she was thawed
He 'ad 'er from all sides around
At the thirty-third stroke
The maiden awoke
And bit off his old hanky-panker
He went "Yodel-o yodel-o yodel-o arghh!"
And they call him the yodelling w*nker
(Adieu)
The valleys all echo
His yodel falsetto
"My darling please say where you are!"
From the mountaintop high
He hears this reply
"Baa... Baa... Baa... And your old lady too!"
*Ivor's alternative couplet...
While having a sh*te
In a snowdrift so white