I am a young man with
a simple occupation
I clean the toilets
at the local railway station
with no romance
in my life
sometimes I wish
I had a knife
I read the offers
on the advertisement pages
the cries for help
from different people
different ages,
but they had nothing to say
at least not until the day
when something
special I read
this is what it said

If you dream of
the girl for you
then call us and get two
for the price of one
it's a bargain if
you feel blue
so call us and get two
for the price of one
if you dream of
the girl for you
then call us and get two
for the price of one
it's a bargain if
you feel blue
so call us and get two
for the price of one

I called the number
and a voice said
Alice Lexy
the voice was husky
and it sounded rather sexy
I was amazed
at my luck
the purest streak
of gold I'd struck
I said, I read
your ad, it sounded
rather thrilling
I think a meeting
could be mutually
fulfilling
why don't we meet
for a chat
the three of us
in my flat
I can't forget
what you said
this is what I read

If you dream of
the girl for you
then call us and get two
for the price of one
it's a bargain if
you feel blue
so call us and get two
for the price of one
if you dream of
the girl for you
then call us and get two
for the price of one
it's a bargain if
you feel blue
so call us and get two
for the price of one

I am a young man with
a simple occupation
I clean the platforms
and the toilets
at the railway station