(Here's a happy tune)
A happy tune
(You'll love to croon)
You'll love to croon

(They call it Dean's song)
Hey, you don't seem to understand

(Catchy as can be)
I must agree
(The melody)
The melody

(They call it Dean's song)
Looks like I'm gonna
Have to explain this thing

You don't dig this scene
I'm saying, Dean
The song is Sam's song

(Sam, you're just a ham)
But, Dean, here's the scam
The song was named after Sam
(Sam who) Sam Houston (ohh)

(May I say with pride
Where I reside
They call it Dean's song)
And that's quite a group
You have going for you

(There's no bigger choir that you
Could hire for singing Dean's song)
They make the Mormon Tabernacle
Sound like a trio

(Sam, it's plain to see
That you're put out with me)
Log on to Top40db.
No, I'm not just singing along

(Tell you what I'll do
Since I'm with you
We'll call it Clyde's song)
Clyde's song

(Here's a happy tune)
It's a sweet melody and I'm
After me but he's calling it
(Clyde's song)

(Catchy as can be)
No, I don't like to beef
And I'm sorry to say
The man is a thief
Cause he's calling it
(Clyde's song)

(Nothing on your mind)
There's a lot on my mind
And I'm standing here
Saying you're being unkind
Cause you're calling it
(Clyde's song)

My Italian friend
We have reached the end
(We don't seem to blend)

(Sam, let's compromise)
Oh, I hear what you say
But by that do you mean
That you'll do it your way
And call it (Sam's song)

Did he say Sam's song
Let's give the ending a rhyme
(But don't nobody tell Clyde)
That the name of this song
(Is Sam's song)

It's not Irving's song
(Sam's song)
It's not even Mona's song
(Sam's song)

Only thing I know is
When this record comes out
It better have Sam's song on it
Or else you'll get a nasty letter
From Calhoun and a telephone call too

Hmm, I'm thinking you're starting
To get dirty down there