Tonight I'm an alley cat yeah,
More afraid of you than you are of me
But if you leave some food out on the porch,
I might stay till there's nothing left to eat
I could sit alone in a lunch room in high school
If I wasn't sitting alone at a punk show in Asheville

Tonight the upper left hand side of my chest
Has a hole as big as the one in my pocket
I mighta kissed you wearing a bulletproof vest
But hell, you kiss like a rocket
I'd be a teenage virgin jerking off in my bedroom
If I wasn't a 20 year old virgin that didn't have a bedroom