Today I awoke 
my eyes were blind to the colors of this beautiful world
which scares me
because I've planned to apint a self portrait of my world
do you remember my asking your opinion of me
the answer was so beautiful and inspiring
so prayed to the brushes to see my values
but they had a conspiracy against me
which is my own theory
but how can I prove it on speculation
Courtney I love you 
for being her my savior
but I can pretend to be suffering in between brushstrokes
and will gather to see my work goals achieved
because of you my darling
I'm choosing the colors of my self portrait