TRUFFLES
You, you think yer such a bad ass; You think yer such a rough neck; Well I saw you outside eating truffles with yer mom on the patio; I think it`s really sad though; and tell yer girl ta quit buggin` me; `Cause I saw her outside suckin` dick in the bathroom of the bus of the Iron Maiden cover band;
 
Chorus
When your pencil neck breaks, when your bird chest caves in . . .
I`m gonna win
When your pencil neck breaks, when your bird chest caves in . . . 
I`m gonna win
 
Me, I`m just another gringo, a bitter jalepeno; But I gets more montequilla in a week than your bitch ass gets in a lifetime; You`re steppin` on a land mine; Your gonna shoot yer eye out; I`m thinkin` what in the Sam Ham Hill is goin` on wit yer moms in the clogs and the skirt, Wouldn`t fuck`er for my country with a flag on her face and a stolen dick.
 
Chorus
You, you think yer still a bad ass, You think your still a rough neck; Well let`s take this outside
 
SUNSHINE
When I look at your face I see dirt; All the sunshine you blow up my ass starts to hurt; And I don`t really mind if I`m nothin` in your eyes; It`s no surprise to me; There`s a rocket I built; It`s under my kilt; It`s coming to blow you away.
 
Chorus
 
I was a jerk; I did the work for somebody else`s dream; I took the chance; I lost my pants; in somebody else`s dream tonight.
 
Now you`re calling me up to get paid; And if you don`t get paid then you`ll never get laid; But I really don`t have any money; I say goodbye; And you`ll have to depend on your size; There`s a rocket I built; It`s under my kilt; It`s coming to blow you away.
 
Chorus
 
Now I think that I`m going to bed, as the image of you and yer crap leaves my head; Cause it`s t-minus 20 tomorrow, rocket flies; And it doesn`t depend on the size; There`s a rocket I built; It`s under my kilt; It`s coming to blow you away. 
 
Chorus
 
TEENAGE DIRTBAG
Her name is Noel, She rings my bell, I got gym class in half an hour; Oh how she rocks in Keds and tube socks, but she doesn`t know who I am; And she doesn`t give a damn about me.
 
Chorus
Cause I`m just a teenage dirtbag baby. Yeah I`m just a teenage dirtbag baby. Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me. Ooohoo Hoo Hooooooo
 
Her boyfriend`s a dick; He brings a Š to school and he`d simply kick my ass if he knew the truth; He lives on my block; He drives and I rock; But he doesn`t know who I am and he doesn`t give a damn about me.
 
Chorus
 
Oh yeah, Dirtbag; No, she doesn`t know what she`s missing.
Oh yeah, Dirtbag; No, she doesn`t know what she`s missing.
 
Man I feel like mold; It`s prom night and I am lonely; Lo and behold, she`s walking over to me; This must be fake; my lip starts to shake; How does she know who I am; and why does she give a damn about . . .
 
I`ve got two tickets to Iron Maiden baby; Come with me Friday, don`t say maybe, I`m just a teenage dirtbag baby like you . . . Ooohoo Hoo Hooooooo
 
Oh yeah, Dirtbag; No, she doesn`t know what she`s missing.
Oh yeah, Dirtbag; No, she doesn`t know what she`s missing.
 
A LITTLE RESPECT
I tried to discover a little something to make me sweeter; Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart; I`m so in love with you; I`ll be forever blue; That you give me no reason, you know you`re making me work so hard; That you give me no . . . Soul; I hear you calling; Oh baby please give a little respect to me.
 
And if I should falter, would you open your arms out to me? We can make love not war, and live in peace with our hearts; I`m so in love with you; I`ll be forever blue; What religion or reason could drive a man to forsake his lover? Don`t you tell me no. . . Soul. I hear you calling; Oh baby please, give a little respect to me.
 
I`m so in love with you; I`ll be forever blue; That you give me no reason, you know you`re making me work so hard; That you give me no. Soul. I hear you calling. Oh baby, please give a little respect to me. Oh baby, please give a little respect to me.
 
HUMPEM` N` DUMPEM`
Cough up the rent Mr. Kent; And don`t try to blame it on the government; Your wife is a clown she`s in town, she gets with some other guy; Are you gonna finish your fat? Cause I`d like to give it to my kitty cat; The big fat look is coming back. You skinny people are screwed. And I know you`re right; Yeah I know it`s time.
 
Chorus
Here we go again another humpem dumpem situation; Here we go again another humpem dumpem situation; Here we go again, here we go again, Now I know what you`re like and I don`t think I like it.
 
The newspaper says to get bent; Man I`d like to say that to the President; He got the L. in the House, I guess he already did; She looks like she finished here fat; she then turned around and ate my kitty cat; she coughed up a hair ball or two and laughed her way to the bank; And I know it`s right; Yeah, I know it`s time.
 
Chorus
 
Here we go again.
 
LEROY
He`s got the dirtiest shoes that I ever seen; Chew on a blunt wipe his butt with a magazine; Smokin` his crack wash it down with gasoline; Still he push the button, E.F. Hutton when he speaks to me; Oh you know he told me "Shake it, don`t break it; It took too damn long to make it"
 
Chorus
Leroy is my mojo man; Leroy is my mojo man, He come he take me by the hand; Cause Leroy is my mojo man tonight . . . alright!
 
He`s just a pimp with a limp and some vaseline; He told me to "Look, over there!" and stole my nectarine; Said, "Don`t turn your back on me black, I`m a sex machine" Still he push the button E.F. Hutton when he speaks to me; Oh you know he told me, "Shake it, don`t break it; It took too damn long to make"
 
Chorus
 
Oh you know he told me, "Shake it, don`t break it, it took too damn long to make it"
 
HEY MR. BROWN
Man I think it`s just a little sleazy; You said you was like butter but you`re cheesy; To treat me like I`m spinner bait you can`t wait; go fish off some other dock.
 
Chorus
Hey, Mr. Brown, don`t have a cow.
Just compensate me!
Hey, Mr. Brown, don`t have a cow.
Just compensate me!
Hey, Mr. Brown, don`t have a cow.
Just compensate me! You`re gonna have to prove it to me.
 
If I don`t call you back your head spins; If I told you what I think you`d shit your linens; "It`s just another interview, nothing new" But they don`t even know my name.
 
Chorus
 
LOVE IS A MUTT FROM HELL
This is a story about a friend of mine; He is abnormally intelligent; He could bust a phatty rhyme, even when he got up in the blunt; But that all changed when the girl who he lives with came to town, He let here take him away from me so I had to ask him how; That`s when he said, "She takes advantage of me! She takes advantage of me! "She takes advantage of me! She takes advantage of me! She even knows when I pee! I think eventually she`ll make a meal out of me."
 
Chorus
Because her love is a mutt from hell that I can`t live without; "Your love is a mutt from hell that I can`t live without; One of these days I swear I`m gonna get out; `Til then your love is a mutt from hell that I can`t live without.
 
That`s why I`m talking to you now.
 
Sarah lives with Bradley now, I guess that is how she wants her shit; He needed a place to stay, so it`s of mutual benefit; I stopped by on my way to Pomona yesterday; She sat down and spilled her guts to me; That`s when I thought she would tell me she`s gay; Instead she said, "He takes advantage of me! He takes advantage of me! He takes advantage of me! He takes advantage of me! He even knows when I pee! I think eventually he`ll make a meal out of me."
 
Chorus
 
That`s why I`m talking to you now;
Talking to; That`s why I`m talking to, That`s why I`m talking to.
Talking to; That`s why I`m talking to, That`s why I`m talking, talking, talking to you NOW!
 
Because, your love is a mutt from hell that I can`t live without.
 
PUNK ASS BITCH
She wriggles and she wraggles, she jiggles and she jaggles, you stand and watch her pass by, your line of vision ass-eye, you think that cause she smiles, that you turn all her dials, but you don`t see them later, while in the elevator, you nag her and you swagger, you think you`re gonna shag her, a man about the town-a, get funky, let`s get down-a, machismo and machasma, it turns into miamsa, but you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension
 
Chorus
I can`t deal with this idiot, yeah I must admit that he`s a punk ass bitch
 
You open up your mouth-a, amazed at what comes out-a Its just a testimony, that you`re full of bologna, that you`re a stupid shit-ass, a meathead, guido, pass-gas, that you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension
 
Repeat Chorus 2X
 
You know you want to spangle, but you can`t seem to angle, one gives you attitude-a, your reason to be rude-a, you think that cause she smiles, that you turn all her dials, but you don`t see them later, while in the elevator, you nag her and you swagger, you think you`re gonna shag her, a man about the town-a, get funky, let`s get down-a, machismo and machasma, it turns into miamsa, you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension You open up your mouth-a, amazed at what comes out-a It`s just a testimony, that you`re full of bologna, that you`re a stupid shit-ass, a meathead, guido, pass gas, but you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension
 
Repeat Chorus 2x
 
WANNABE GANGSTAR
I am a wannabe; You better be careful around me; I come from far away, where mustang dreams are made; and we are fashioned in the image of the Don`s who have come before us; we all kiss the rings of sand like our fathers told us.
 
Chorus
`Cause I`m a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack; I`m a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack; I`m a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack, better go back to far away.
 
Like a lemon pie a la mode, my nine is easy to load; all hail Jericho; Turnpike Teck, that`s where I go to learn the things about the universe I`ll need so I can build a stamped, `cause I`m all up in your face again, I`m all up in your face.
 
Chorus
 
A wannabe gangstar, a victim of the chromosome prankster, I thanks ya, I sits back in my chair to contemplate my hair; OOH DAMN, I reak of cologne, but yo I`m lookin` snappy, I`m nappy, I`m crappy, got jimmy hats from pappy, so now I`m trigger happy, Girl did he just rhyme `crappy` with `happy`? Yeah, so you girlies wanna get wit this nit wit, got Cheese Whiz or not? Then I`m a hafta blow up ya mail box BIATCH! Or toilet paper ya front yard, show the cops my Suburbs Card, they gotta let me go cause they know that I`m hard, it`s the deal it`s for real, ya betta listen to what I`m tellin` ya . . . `Cause I`m a wannabe gangstar.
 
Chorus