If you wreck my car or shave off all my hair
You can go
And run your vacuum during my favorite show
And I'll let you call up folks in Europe you don't even know
Anything you want, babe, if it makes you happy

But I'm begging you down on my bended knees
Oh honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can spend my money, you can waste my time
Baby, I don't mind, but please don't wear those shoes
Don't wear those shoes

It's all right
You can play your Twisted Sister every night
I suppose
You can lick the middles out of my Oreos
Or start laughing while you're drinking milk so it comes out your nose
And you know that I'd do anything to please you

But I'm begging you down on my bended knees
Oh honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can spit in my face if you're so inclined
Baby, I don't mind, but please don't wear those shoes

Oh no, don't wear those shoes
I said, oh no, oh no
Oh no, please don't wear those...

Use my razor to shave your legs or eat crackers in bed
Stomp the poodle till it's flat
You could even shove a six-inch railroad spike through my head
I could learn to live with that

But now I'm begging you down on my bended knees
Oh honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can whip me, beat me, rob me blind
Baby I don't mind, but please don't wear those...

I said, oh no, oh no, oh no, don't wear those shoes
I said, oh no, oh no, oh no, don't wear those shoes

You can scratch up my records, you can drink my booze
But baby, please don't wear those shoes
You can make me an offer I can't refuse
But darling, please don't wear those shoes
You can play your bongos while I'm trying to snooze
But honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can expose yourself on the six o'clock news
But please, please don't wear those shoes