[Chorus] 

Eew! Don't touch that! 

[Regular voice] 

Oooh! Don't touch that 

You don't know where it's been 

Don't touch wet paint 

Don't touch that dial 

[Old man] 

A rotten egg? Yecch, don't touch that! 

Never touch yellow snow 

Not even with a ten-foot pole 

[Droopy] 

Never touch food that glows 

Or Doctor Demento 

Yes, don't touch that! 

[Bullwinkle] 

Hey, watch me pull 

A rabbit from my hat 

Wait, that's not a rabbit 

Oooh! Don't touch that 

[Bill Cosby] 

When you find lumps in your puddin' pops 

Don't touch 'em, they're not cool 

[?] 

Don't stick your finger in the ear 

Of a fat chick at school 

[Goofy] 

Gawrsh, never touch anything 

That's dragged in by the cat 

[Kid voice] 

Greasy grimy gopher guts 

Eeew, don't touch that! 

[Cheech] 

Hey man, don't touch my ol' lady! 

[Swishy voice] 

You can lookee, but no touchee! 

[Sexy woman] 

Oooh! Don't touch me there! 

[?] 

Don't touch milk if it's crunchy 

[Old lady] 

Never sit on a wet seat 

[?] 

Don't touch it (like) that woman in heat 

[French accent] 

Aaah, (Speaking French) 

Get away from my weed whackers! 

Don't touch that! 

[Fussy voice] 

Never touch a tissue 

That's rolled up in a ball 

[Eddie Murphy] 

Never touch the gummy gums 

Of Arsenio Hall 

[Apu] 

Welcome to 7-Eleven 

Don't touch the Slurpee machine 

[Ernest] 

Hey, I wouldn't touch that pit bull 

That's foamin' at the mouth 

Know what I mean? 

[Group] 

Never touch the wart 

On Aunt Martha's chin 

Never touch what's on you 

When you sneeze in the wind 

Ah-choo! 

[Dracula] 

Good evening 

Don't touch the blood 

From a vampire bat 

[Hysterical giggling] 

Ha ha ha ha ha 

Ha ha ha ha ha 

Don't touch that! 

[Rapper] 

Don't play catch 

With a scuzzball 

Don't pick bugs 

From your windshield 

Don't touch a slug 

Or a hairball 

[Group] 

Oooh! Don't touch that 

[Reagan] 

Uh, well, I wouldn't touch it 

If I could remember what it was for 

[Godfather] 

Last guy who touched this 

He ain't around no more 

[W C Fields] 

Ah yes, you haven't had tequila 

Until you get the worm 

[Jewish] 

I don't think a worm is kosher 

It's schmutz! 

Don't touch that 

[Group] 

Eeew, ee-eeew, ee-eeew, ee-eeew! 

Oooh! 

Eeew, ee-eeew, ee-eeew, ee-eeew! 

Yecch! 

[Valley girl] 

Oh my god that's cowabunga dude! 

Don't touch that! 

[Clint Eastwood] 

Go ahead, make my day 

Touch that! 

[Pee Wee Herman] 

Uh oh! Honk honk! 

Don't touch that, ha ha ha (crash!) 

[Engineer] 

Okay, we're ready for take ninety-nine in here 

Uh, don't touch that button please 

[Another voice] 

Hic! You mean this button here? 

[Engineer] 

Yeah, that big red button...DON'T TOUCH THAT! 

[Voice] 

What happens if, Hic! I touch this button here? 

[Engineer] 

No! Not that button! Please! DON'T TOUCH THAT! 



(explosion, backing music slows down and stops)