Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man

The kind of man you'd never disrespect

He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck

He ate his own weight in coal, excreted diamonds everyday

He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you still would love him anyway

Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway



Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain

He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry, I'm telling you the man was insane

He could rip out your beating heart, and show it to you before you died

Everyday he' make the host of Match Game give him a piggyback ride

Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene



Ninja warrior, master of disguise

He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, Oh yeah

Oh yeah

He had his own line at the DMV

He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee

Oh yeah

Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya



Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion, but he never ever told a soul

I've seen the man unhinge his jaw, and swallow a Volkswagen whole

He'd bash your face in with a shovel if you didn't treat him like a star

You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman's cape

But Lord knows you don't mess around with CNR

No, no, no

Talkin' about CNR