Tell us once again this morning old friend how did you win the war
Everybody loves a hero it don't matter if they've heard the tale before
And tell us of the time when almost everybody knew you were a star
And how intelligent you are
Prove that you're alive Mr Shuck and Jive

You can tell us of the man who stole your fortune and nearly ruined your life
Or better still the one about the TV and the couch and your best friend's wife
Tell us of grand projects never finished with somebody else to blame
And all the reasons that your fame
Just never did arrive Mr Shuck and Jive
[ piano ]
If you can get yourself together kindly write a criticism of this song
How it's exquisitely constructed and yet mechanical and somehow slightly wrong
And you can put it in your book about the enemy you never even met
You know you just might make it yet
But somehow you'll survive Mr Shuck and Jive