Where he says that there are
Two chicks for every guy
He says hi and gets laid
He's got it made
And he hardly has to try

And they don't put up a fight
With Professor Night
Oh no they don't put up a fight
With Professor Night
Meet Professor Night

Professor Night has a flair
Combs his hair with something
The barber recommends
He blends right in and takes control
He really plays the role
At least he tries with all his might

And they don't put up a fight
With Professor Night
Oh no they don't put up a fight
With Professor Night
Meet Professor Night

He's the Professor
Professor Night
He's the Professor
He professed the night

He's got a million lies on top
Got to keep the ladies happy
He says anything that makes the river flow
Is good to know
Professor Night

Professor Night has no love
And a driving glove won't keep you warm
When the storm comes down
Pound for pound he's a loser
A destroyer not a cruiser
Johnny on the spot not mister right

And they don't put up a fight
With Professor Night
Oh no they don't put up a fight
With Professor Night
Meet Professor Night