Met some mook who drove a purple Chevy
He took them for a ride one summer night
Told the girls he was a big producer
Truth be told he was a cheap seducer
He drove them to the hills to see the lights (Yeah, right)
Two days later they were reading him his rights
Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks

Tara Venus was a rent-a-stripper
You could feast your eyes but you couldn't grip her
She went nowhere without Jack the Human Kife
He'd slice you silly if you got too friendly
If you value living better treat her gently
Once she does her sexy cha-cha let her go
She will tempt you but it's just part of the show
Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks

Bobby Maggot was a big attorney
Through the courtroom down to hell he journeyed
Bald headed piece of garbage that he was
He'll defend you if your money's honest
Says he'll do his best but that's no promise
Off he goes in his Corvette to get a tan
Oh Lord I ask you what kind of beast is man?
Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks

Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks
Woodwork squeaks and out comes Trotsky
Out comes Trotsky, yeah
Woodwork squeaks and out comes Coltrane
Coltrane, Coltrane
Woodwork squeaks and out comes Che Guevara
Che Guevara, Che Guevara
Woodwork squeaks and out comes the Powell
Buddy Powell, Buddy Powell