Well I'm driving down the road in my beat up Ford
I've got a plastic Jesus on my dashboard
I'm going really fast and using lots of gas
There's a guy behind me actually wants to pass
So I put my foot to that accelerator
It's like hey man I'll see you later
Cause, I'm a cool guy with a car
Well I pull up at a light
And this same fella wants to race me
So I get an early start
Cause I don't want him to waste me
And he thinks he's really tough in his 280Z
But I blow him away in my LTD
And as I cruise down that lonesome highway
There's a recurring thought that I just got to say
That I'm a cool guy with a car

Well there's only a few things in this world that I 
savor
And though you might think I'm a little misguided
Just that macho automotive stuff makes me excited
So don't try and tell me to get my priorities straight
At least I don't drive my moms 98
Cause, I'm a cool guy with a car
Start her up
(car noises)
Oh know it looks like I'm going to crash
But fortunately I'm able to avoid a potential collision
Cause I've got that superb station wagon handling
And simulated wood paneling
And I feel indestructible now like nothing can harm me
As I search for salvation I find a salvation army
And I drive by that little red thrift store
Realize what I was put on this earth for
And that was to be a cool guy with a car, yeah