There's a magical land I know,

A place where I grew up.

And I'd make a deal with the devil himself,

to see that place blown up.

There in that interesting land I know

where no one has a brain,

they all wear jeans that are acid-washed

yet they think I'm insane



I would get down on my knees

and service the Japanese

'til I reek of old sushi but please

bomb New Jersey!



I would happily kowtow

to my new leader, Chairman Mao.

I would even learn Chinese 

Just please, bomb New Jersey!



Bomb New Jersey!

Bomb New Jersey!



I would go tell Jong Il Kim

that they're making fun of him

in a Kimchi-hating town that's known

as New Jersey

Better yet I've got a plan

I will convince Pakistan

that India can be found somewhere

in New Jersey



New Jersey is a place where I grew up

They pelted me with rocks and garbage

I guess its tough to be a fruit in the Garden State

And if you have a sexy girlfriend 

then they're doubly irate!



Oh I would climb a rocky crag

and plant a Russian flag

on a smoldering hole once known

as New Jersey

Oh it would be a tragic loss

If both Bon Jovi and the Boss

are somewhere out of state

when the danes nuke New Jersey



It's a place named after a sweatshirt,

So what more can you expect, sir?

And if you try to express you're individuality

they will throw you to the ground

And they'll kick you in the teeth

Like they did to me



The bombs go down on Morristown

and Trenton's up in flames

Newark we drowned then burned it down

But Elizabeth still smells the same

Many butts will breach on Monmouth Beach

We'll erase Orange from site

But before we leave this land I loathe,

I bid New Jersey "Good-night!"