Ma chere mademoiselle
It is with deepest pride
And greatest pleasure
That we welcome you tonight

And now, we invite you to relax
Let us pull up a chair
As the dining room proudly
Presents, your dinner

Be our guest, be our guest
Put our service to the test
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie
And we provide the rest

Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres
Why, we only live to serve
Try the gray stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes

They can sing, they can dance
After all, Miss, this is France
And a dinner here is never second best

Go on, unfold your menu
Take a glance and then
You'll be our guest
Oui, our guest, be our guest

Beef ragout, cheese souffle
Pie and pudding en flambe
We'll prepare and serve with flair
A culinary cabaret

You're alone and you're scared
But the banquet's all prepared
No one's gloomy or complaining
While the flatware's entertaining

We tell jokes, I do tricks
With my fellow candlesticks
Und it's all in perfect taste that you can bet

Come on and lift your glass
You've won your own free pass
To be our guest

If you're stressed
It's fine dining, we suggest
Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest

Life is so unnerving
For a servant who's not serving
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon

Ah, those good old days
When we were useful
Suddenly those good old days are gone

Ten years, we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills

Most days we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy

It's a guest, it's a guest
Sakes alive, well, I'll be blessed
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed

With dessert, she'll want tea
And, my dear, that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft-shoein'
I'll be bubblin', I'll be brewin'

I'll get warm, piping hot
Heaven's sake, is that a spot?
Clean it up, we want the company impressed

We've got a lot to do
Is it one lump or two?
For you, our guest, she's our guest
She's our guest, she's our guest

Be our guest, be our guest
Our command is your request
It's ten years since we've had anybody here
And we're obsessed

With your meal, with your ease
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you, we'll keep going

Course by course, one by one
'Til you shout, "Enough, I'm done"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep
As you digest

Tonight, you'll prop your feet up
But for now, let's eat up
Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest
Please be our guest