(Chorus)
Unlock this bathroom door
You're in there, I know
Unlock this bathroom door
I've got to go
I don't wanna fight no more
My blotter's fixing to explode
Please unlock this damn bathroom door
I've got to go
(Verse)
I tried to eat my supper tonight
But you throw'd it out in the yard
I didn't have the strength to make the dog give it back
I was way too tard
I had to leave work early today
I wasn't feeling quite myself
So if you're looking for a fight
Go look somewhere else
I got hemorrhoids and a tooth ache
And my stomach hurts, 
If there's any mercy
In your heart
Please show it now 
(Chorus)
Unlock this bathroom door
You're in there, I know
Unlock this bathroom door
I've got to go
I don't wanna fight no more
My blotter's fixing to explode
Unlock this damn bathroom door
I've got to go
(Verse)
Happy anniversary
I'm sorry I forgot our special day
You know how bad my memory gets
When I got a bad migraine
Please put down that baseball bat
And let's start all over again
‘Cause I'm afraid I might pace out
If you don't let me in
I need antacid tablets, yea they caplets
And I'm about to bust
If there's any mercy
In your heart
Please show it now 
(Chorus)
And unlock this bathroom door
You're in there, I know
Unlock this bathroom door
I've got to go
I don't wanna fight no more
My body's fixing to implode
Please unlock this damn bathroom door
I've got to go
Unlock this bathroom door
And let me go.