An intimate friend of the czar was I
A personal friend of the great Nickolai
We practically slept in the same double bed
It was I at the foot and he at the head

Now all that seems distance and all that seems far
From those wonderful nights at the palace of the Czar
When I went shooting with Rasputin, ate farina with Czarina
Blintzes with the princess and the Czar, hey, hey, hey
We were sharing tea and herring
Dipped banana in smetana
Borscht and vorscht around the samovar

A friend of the Czar was I  my life
But friendlier still was I with his wife
We practically slept in the same double bed
'Til the Czar kicked me out and he slept there instead

Now all that seems distance and all that seems far
From those wonderful nights at the palace of the Czar
When I went shooting with Rasputin, ate farina with Czarina
Blintzes with the princess and the Czar, hey, hey, hey
We were sharing tea and herring
Dipped banana in smetana
Borscht and vorscht around the samovar

Then one bloody day revolution broke out
I went to see what the fuss was about
As the Red flag rose I bid Russia goodbye
It was simply a case of Lenin or I

Now all that seems distance and all that seems far
From those wonderful nights at the palace of the Czar
When I went shooting with Rasputin, ate farina with Czarina
Blintzes with the princess and the Czar, hey, hey, hey
We were sharing tea and herring
Dipped banana in smetana
Borscht and vorscht around the samovar

Yes the Bolsheviks came, kicked me out in the cold
And all I had left were some diamonds and gold.
But I'll get my revenge here, and I'll have no pity
By giving my testimony to the House Unamerican Activities
Committee

Now all that seems distance and all that seems far
From those wonderful nights at the palace of the Czar
When I went shooting with Rasputin, ate farina with Czarina
Blintzes with the princess and the Czar, hey, hey, hey
We were sharing tea and herring
Dipped banana in smetana
Borscht and vorscht around the samovar

In the Russia of old, everybody was
Except for the Czar and he was Nicolas

Now all that seems distance and all that seems far
From those wonderful nights at the palace of the Czar
When I went shooting with Rasputin, ate farina with Czarina
Blintzes with the princess and the Czar, hey, hey, hey
We were sharing tea and herring
Dipped banana in smetana
Borscht and vorscht around the samovar

When I went shooting with Rasputin, ate farina with Czarina
Blintzes with the princess and the Czar, hey, hey, hey
We were sharing tea and herring
Dipped banana in smetana
Borscht and vorscht around the samovar