Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking
What a grand world this would be
If the men were all transported
Far beyond the northern sea

Oh, my goodness, gracious, Rachel
What a strange world this would be
If the men were all transported
Far beyond the northern sea

Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking
What a great life girls would lead
If they had no men about them
None to tease them, none to heed

Rachel, Rachel, I've been thinking
Men would have a merry time
If they want they were transported
By the

Reuben, Reuben, stop your teasing
If you've any love for me
I was only just a-fooling
As I thought, of course, you'd see

Rachel, if you'll not transport me
I will take you for my wife
And I'll split with you my money
Every pay day of my life!