Come all ye good people, a story I'll tell
A song I will sing how I wonder these
A charming young maiden who wed in the Fall
And married a man who had no balls at all!

No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all
No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all

The night of the wedding she leaped into bed
Her breasts were a-heaving; her legs they were spread
She reached for his willy; his willy was small
She reached for his balls: he had no balls at all!

No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all
No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all

"``Oh mother, oh mother, oh, what shall I do?
I've married a man who's unable to screw
For many long years, I've avoided the call
Now I've married a man who has no balls at all!''

No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all
No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all

``"Oh daughter, dear daughter, now don't feel so sad
I had the same trouble with your dear old dad
There are lots of young men who will answer the call
Of the wife of a man who has no balls at all''

No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all
No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all

Now the daughter, she followed her mother's advice
And she found the proceedings exceedingly nice
A bouncing young baby was born in the Fall
To the wife of the man who had no balls at all

No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all
No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all

No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all
No balls at all, no balls at all
She married a man who had no balls at all