Oh, I am the man, the very fat man that waters the workers' beer
And I am the man, the very fat man that waters the workers' beer
And what do I care if it makes them ill, if it makes them terribly queer
I've a car, a yacht, and an aeroplane and I waters the workers' beer

Now when I waters the workers' beer I put in strychnine
Some methylated spirits and a drop of kerosene
But such a brew so terribly strong it would make them terribly queer
I reaches my hand for the watering-can and I waters the workers' beer

Oh, I am the man, the very fat man that waters the workers' beer
And I am the man, the very fat man that waters the workers' beer
And what do I care if it makes them ill, if it makes them terribly queer
I've a car, a yacht, and an aeroplane and I waters the workers' beer

Now a drop of good beer is good for a man who's tired and thirsty and hot
And I sometimes have a drop myself from a very special pot
For a strong and healthy working class is the thing that I most fear
So I reaches the hand for the watering-can and I waters the workers' beer

Oh, I am the man, the very fat man that waters the workers' beer
And I am the man, the very fat man that waters the workers' beer
And what do I care if it makes them ill, if it makes them terribly queer
I've a car, a yacht, and an aeroplane and I waters the workers' beer

Oh, ladies fair, beyond compare, be you maid or wife
Please, spare a thought for such a man who leads such a lonely life
For the water rates are frightfully high and meths is terribly dear
And there isn't the profit there used to be in watering the workers' beer

Oh, I am the man, the very fat man that waters the workers' beer
And I am the man, the very fat man that waters the workers' beer
And what do I care if it makes them ill, if it makes them terribly queer
I've a car, a yacht, and an aeroplane and I waters the workers' beer