Uh, I feel that this has given me the most incredible and wonderful thing 
that I have ever been given, and also, the worst. It's a mixed bag. Uh, I 
have been taken to the, absolutely, to the depths of extreme terror by this. 
I've had my whole soul undermined by it, on the one hand. On the other hand, 
Uh, in one sense, my experience has been about finding 
joy...joy...joy....joy....joy...joy....joy....joy...joy...