Quite often I get a thinking

How as kids we got by

Like christmas time in our house

We couldn't even afford a fire



But we made do in our house

Back then when I was young

Dad used to suck a peppermint

And we'd all sit round his tongue



We couldn't afford no tinsel

On our christmas tree

So we'd just wheel old grandad in

And make the old cunt sneeze...atchoo



Wheel him round the other side granny...atchoo



Well things change so bloody fast

I got children now of me own

Now I heard 'em unwrap their presents

Last night when I got home



Santa claus you cunt

Where's my fucking bike

I've unwrapped all this other junk

There's nothing what i like



I've wrote you a letter

And i've come to see you twice

You geriatric wanker

Where's my fucking bike



If i wanted a pair of fucking shoes

I would've fucking asked

This cowboy suit and ping-pong set

You can stick right up your arse



You went and mucked my order up

It's enough to make you spew

It's not just me that's pissed off

My sister's cheesed off too



Santa claUs you cunt

Where's my fucking pram

You promised me you fucking cunt

You know who I am



'Cos I'm the little girl

You made sit right on your hand

Never mind your ho ho ho

Where's my fucking pram



Next time i go to see him

I'm gonna punch him in the guts

Set his fucking reindeer loose

Kick rudolf in the nuts



Just you wait til next year

'Til we get to that store

A mate of my little sister

'll come stomping through that door



Hey mums and dads just check his breath

And watch his bloodshot eyes

Don't listen to him boys and girls

'Cos he tells fucking lies



He's a pisstake and a pervert

He's not even fucking bright

'Cos that fucking wanker

Forgot my fucking bike



Hey santa claus you cunt

Where's my fucking bike

I've unwrapped all this other junk

There's nothing what I like



I wrote you a fucking letter

And I came to see you twice

You geriatric wanker

Forgot my fucking bike



Yeah I'm gonna tell my dad on you

Fucking punch your head in....cunt

I saw mummy sucking santa