I'm trying to impress the bargirl, by seeing how drunk I can get

I can't believe that no-one's thought of this before

This is a fool-proof plan!

I'm sure I'm the man of her dreams -

The drunker I get

The more impressed she seems. (It's a perfect plan)



I'm trying to impress the bargirl, by seeing how drunk I can get

My friends have left. I guess they didn't want to cramp my style!

She keeps a professional distance,

But I know what she truly thinks.

If she didn't want me,

Why would she keep bringing drinks? (It's a perfect plan)



(It's a perfect plan)

So I ask her when does she get off

And she answers where do I get off

And I say 'That's funny' (The perfect plan)

The bouncers watch me intently

I suppose they're just jealous of me

Because I'm so funny



She's going a little bit blurry

Something is coming towards me

I think I'm about to be kissed

No, that's just a fist ...