Spoken:
Is this what it's like to be mortal?
Is every girl...the only girl?
I'm beginning to like it.

Oh my heart is beating wildly
And it's all because you're here.
When I'm not near the girl I love,
I love the girl I'm near.

Ev'ry fan that flutters by me
Is a flame that must be fanned.
When I can't fondle the hand I'm fond of,
I fondle the hand at hand.

My heart's in a pickle,
It's constantly fickle
And not too partickle, I fear.
When I'm not near the girl I love,
I love the girl I'm near.

Shouted: 
Oh Sharon!...I mean Susan!...Susan!

What if they're tall and tender
What if they're small and slender
I surrender!

Always I can't refuse 'em 
Always my feet persues 'em
long as they got a bosom
I woos 'em!

I love the girl I'm near.

When I'm not near the girl I love,
I love the girl I'm near.

I'm confessing a confession
And I hope I'm not verbose
When I'm not close to the kiss that I cling to,
I cling to the kiss that's close

As I'm more and more a mortal
I am more and more a case.
When I'm not facing the face that I fancy.
I fancy the face I face.

For Sharon I'm carin',
But Susan I'm choosin'
I'm faithful to whos'n is here.
When I'm not near the girl I love,
I love the girl I'm near.