Wor Nanny an' me myed up wor minds te gan an' catch the train,
'Te gan te the toon te buy some claes for wor little Billy and Jane:
But when we got to Rowland's Gill the mornin' train wes gyen,
An thor wasn't another one gan' that way till siventeen minutes te one.
So aa ses te wor Nan, "It's a lang way te gan" an Aa saa biv hor feyce she wes vext;
But aa ses, "Nivvor mind. We heh plenty o'time. We'll stop an' we'll gan on wi' the next."
She gove a bit smile an wen Aa spok up an ses, "Ther's a pubbilick hoose along heor;
We'll gan along there and git worsels warm an' a glass o' the best bittor beer."
But Nan wes se stoot Aa knew she'd not waak an she didn't seem willin' te try.
Wen a tink o' the trubble Aa'd wiv hor that day, Aa's like te borst oot an' cry.

And ay wor Nanny's a mazer an' a mazer she remains
An' as lang as Aa leeve Aa winnet forget the day we lost the trains

So doon we went te the pubbilick hoose, an when we got te the door,
She sez, "We'll gan inti the parlor end for Aa've niver been heor afore.".
So in we went an tuek wor seats, an' afore Aa rang the bell,
Aa axed hor what she was gannin' te hev, and she sez, "The Syem as yorsel".
So Aa caalled for two gills of the best bittor beer. She paid for them when they com in.
An afore she'd swallied a haaf o' hors, she said, "Aa wad rethur hev gin".
So Aa caalled for a glass o' the best Hollands Gin. She swallied it doon the forst try.
Aa sez to wor Nan, "Thoo's as gud as a man". She sez, "Bob, man, Aa feel varry dry"

And ay wor Nanny's a mazer an' a mazer she remains
An' as lang as Aa leeve Aa winnet forget the day we lost the trains

She sat an' drank till she got tight, she sez, "Bob, man, Aa feel varry queer".
Aa sez, "Thoo's had nine glasses o' gin te me two gill's o' beer".
She lowsed hor hat an' then hor shaal an' hoyed them on the floor.
Aa thowt wor Nan was gan' Wrang iv hor mind so Aa set mesel near the door.
She sez, "Give us order. Aa'll sing a bit sang". Aa sat an Aa glowered at hor.
Aa thowt she wes jokin' for Aa nivvor hard wor Nanny sing ony before.
She tried te stand up te sing the "Cat Pie" but she fell doon an' myed sic a clatter,
She smashed fower chairs, an' the Landlord com in an' he sez, "What the deuce is the matter?"

And ay wor Nanny's a mazer an' a mazer she remains
An' as lang as Aa leeve Aa winnet forget the day we lost the trains

He sez te me, "Is this yor wife, an where de ye belang?"
Aa sez, "It is, an' she's teun a fit wi tryin' te sing a bit sang".
He flung his arms aroond hor waist, and trailed hor ower the floor,
An poor aad Nan (like a dorty hoose cat) was hoyed oot side o' the door.
An' there she wes lyin', byeth groanin' an cryin', te claim hor Aa reely thowt shyem.
Aa tried ta lift hor, but Aa cudden't shift hor, an' Aa wished Aa had Nanny at hyem.
The papor man said he wad give hor a lift, se we hoisted hor inti the trap,
But Nan was that tight that she cuddent sit up, so we fasten'd hor down wiv a strap.
She cuddent sit up and she waddent lie doon, an' she kicked till she broke the convaince.
She lost a new basket, hor hat an hoe shaal, that wummin, wi lossin' the trains

And ay wor Nanny's a mazer an' a mazer she remains
An' as lang as Aa leeve Aa winnet forget the day we lost the trains