Well, I'm a jitterbug boy
By the shoe-shine
Resting on my laurels
And my Hardys too
Life of Riley on a swing shift
Gears follow my drift
Once upon a time I was
In show-biz too

I seen the Brooklyn Dodgers
Playin at Ebbets Field
Seen the Kentucky Derby too
It's fast women, slow horses, I'm reliable sources
And I'm holding up a lamp post
If you want to know
I seen the Wabash Cannonball,
Buddy, I've done it all

Beause I slept with the lions
And Marilyn Monroe
Had breakfast in the eye
Of a hurricane
Fought Rocky Marciano,
Played Minnesota Fats
Burned hundred-dollar bills,

I eaten Mulligan stew
Got drunk with Louis Armstrong
What's that old song?
I taught Mickey Mantle
Everything that he knows

And so you ask me
What I'm doing here
Holding up a lamp post
Flippin this quarter,
Trying to make up my mind
And if it's heads I'll go to
Tennessee, and tails I'll buy a drink
If it lands on the edge
I'll keep talking to you