Lord Nelson had a sure fire way of curing 'mal-de-mer'
And if you pay attention, his secret I will share
To any seasick sailor, he'd give this advice for free
If you're feeling seasick, sit underneath a tree

I'm marching inland from the shore
Over me shoulder I'm carrying an oar
When someone asks what is that funny thing you've got
I know I'll never go to sea no more, no more
Than I know I'll never go to sea no more

Columbus he set sail to find out if the world was round
He kept up sailing to the West until he ran aground
He thought he found the Indians but he found the USA
I know some navigators who can still do that today

I'm marching inland from the shore
Over me shoulder I'm carrying an oar
When someone asks what is that funny thing you've got
I know I'll never go to sea no more, no more
Than I know I'll never go to sea no more

Drake is in his hammock and a thousand miles away
Grenville's revenge is at the bottom of the bay
Many famous sailors never came home from the sea
Just take my advice, Jack, come and follow me

I'm marching inland from the shore
Over me shoulder I'm carrying an oar
When someone asks what is that funny thing you've got
I know I'll never go to sea no more, no more
Than I know I'll never go to sea no more

So sailors take a warning from these men of high renown
When you leave the ocean and its time to settle down
Never cast your anchor less than ninety miles from shore
There'll always be temptation to be off to sea once more

I'm marching inland from the shore
Over me shoulder I'm carrying an oar
When someone asks what is that funny thing you've got
I know I'll never go to sea no more, no more
I know I'll never go to sea no more, no more
Than I know I'll never go to sea no more