I'm not even gay so a lot's unclearbut the way he 
smiles before you disappear
and pats the heads of the Bush youth
and sends 'em off to spy
tells 'em hide under Mommy's bed
and to write down all those words she said
and bring them back and some goodies you'll have
so is there any need to ask why?
chorus:
I'm in love with John Ashcroft
I fought it long but I still lost
to see him in front of Congress well..
I've found what I once lost
I'm in love with John Ashcroft
Don't have the nerve to tell the wife
but she's a patriot and can take the strife
for the good of her country
she'll agree to share her man
a lust for power it turns me on
but his head and my heart are already gone
I don't like 'em complicated
so I'm getting while I can
chorus
He's gonna make this country safe you see
but if I share his bed he won't arrest me
that is unless I'm really bad
and mention the 'C' word
that's the constitition boys and girls
but if you've got yourself big enough pearls
it's just like toilet paper
maybe you have heard...
Chorus