So I wanna edit the New York TimesI wanna edit the New 
York Times
I'm a busy man lots on my mind
So I wanna edit the New York Times
You know how much it costs
to send our people on a plane?
when I pee I like to see pee
not money down the drain
we got our Pulitzer's
and the lesser prizes too
can't remember their names
but it's more than a few
Got a newsroom full of whiners
who all want to change the world
all wanna be the man on the scene
when a new flag gets unfurled
well I got problems of my own
with that damn Republican
always chewing me a new asshole
when we take on his man
So I wanna edit the New York Times
I wanna edit the New York Times
I'm a busy man lots on my mind
So I wanna edit the New York Times
I need a job that's easy
something 9 to 5
or even less if possible
'cause I like to skydive
and golf and play tennis
all them rich dude games
ain't got time for them Sherlock Holmes'
searching for the defamed
So you want your name in the paper?
come work for me
it's not really my problem
who you turn out to be
kids coming out of school these days
we're lucky if they can spell their name
with that in mind if it's missed it's missed
find someone else to blame
So I wanna edit the New York Times
I wanna edit the New York Times
I'm a busy man lots on my mind
So I wanna edit the New York Times