If I was to be a carpenter
in a company not far from here
Then I would raise my children 
for the carpenting career

Well I’d surely never hit nobody
with my HAMMER
Well, I surely wouldn’t make you fall
I wouldn’t kill my daughter

I wouldn’t starve people
when they stay at my place
I wouldn’t steal the companies money
And I surely wouldn’t,
wouldn’t SHOUT at anybody

Oh no no , I’m well raised

If I was to be a juggler
I surely would not agree
I wouldn’t make you talk about it,
about proper “edumacation” at the R.U.G.

I said “life without a wife, is like a kitchen without a knife”
I said “life without a wife, is like a kitchen without a knife”

But if you look at my wife
I’m gonna stab you with my knife
If you look at my wife
I’m gonna get you from the behind

I’m stuck in jail, no money to pay the bail
I’m stuck in jail, no money to pay the bail

Do you wanna know why I got stuck in jail? 

I’ve been a bad husband, a bad bad husband
I’ve been a “really” bad husband
I’ve been a bad husband, a bad bad husband

Got mixed up in the life
of the governor's wife
Got mixed up in the life 
of the president's wife
Got mixed up in the life 
of my best friend’s wife

...and now I will raise his children 
for the carpenting career