When I woke up I was just like you

But in today's paper on page 22

I'm right there for all to see me in my entirety

No longer will I live in relative obscurity

You know the famous girl I'm with from movies and TV

The blurry guy beside her is obviously me

Look a little closer behind and to the right

Now everybody knows that I was out with her that night



and now my time has come

I've got the world on the run

my problems have come to an end

I'm an unidentified friend

unidentified friend



Fame and fortune's bound to come how will I spend it all

My fans will mob me when I go to the mall

Dark glasses and a hat should be first things that I buy

Or will my fans see through that - maybe I won't try

I'll give you my unlisted number pager number too

But when I'm on a movie set my agent will take care of you

I'll be on all the talk shows, and game shows galore

I'll even go to parties with Charro and Zsa Zsa Gabor



I just can't understand it not a single call

I've waited by the phone for days and it hasn't rung at all

Except for my landlord who says I'm overdue

The bills keep stacking up what am I gonna do?

Could it be they didn't see my picture after all?

would they run it again I'll give them a call

And while I'm at it I'll call my famous friend

Maybe she'd hang out with me then the wait would end