It's his lucky day, thats a given 

He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn 

He's not addicted, he can stop anytime 

But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine 

This time I know Im gonna smash the bet 

I foresee it smacked in the back of the net 

Men grip slips, wipe their hands that sweat 

The camera pans the away fans end 

Twenty quid for blues to thrash the reds 

Then cash that cash, when the ref has said 

My mates out, his pads a mess 

Its getting late, I've not dashed yet 

The question I have to ask myself 

Is can I see us not battering them? 

If I cant see that, happening then 

Im gonna put all my money down on one fat bet 

Now I dont know the first thing about football 

But my instincts tell me this is my windfall 

It's his lucky day, thats a given 

He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn 

He's not addicted, he can stop anytime 

But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine 

This time I know I woulda cashed the lot 

I woulda held in my hand the whole jackpot 

The games won, the ends have a swap 

2-0 up they're getting mashed up 

But I wont win now, the chance flopped 

Cause I couldnt make it to the damn shop 

Might aswell put tea in that pot 

Ive got nowhere else I have to bop 

The question I have to ask one 

Is how I managed, not to manage the trot 

Maybe I could phone in and slap it on 

Put all my money on a mid-match one 

Yes, I dont know the first thing about football 

But my instincts tell me this is my windfall 

It's his lucky day, thats a given 

He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn 

He's not addicted, he can stop anytime 

But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine 

Shit, I'm mad glad I didnt back that match 

Suppose to be an unproblematic catch 

Full time the whistle blasted after 

The last passer, passed the last pass 

Would you believe how we fell back 

Three goals lost in the last half 

So glad I was stranded back at the flat 

Wincing at every goal we let em have 

The question I now have to ask 

Is how the fuck did we get smashed that bad? 

I just very, very nearly, nearly 

Lost every penny of all my cash 

Yes, I dont know the first thing about football 

And my instincts almost led me to a pitfall 

It's his lucky day, that was barmy 

He didnt tick the box on the slip, and what a relief 

He's not addicted, he can stop anytime 

But next time he will be more lucky, next time he'll be fined 



I need to rethink the technique of my betting shit 

Maybe change the parameters a little bit 

Instead of betting on to win the football 

I'll bet to lose the cricket