It was supposed to be so easy

Just take back the DVD, withdraw that extra money

Tell mum I wouldn't be back for tea, then grab my savings and hurry

So first to get the film back in time, to avoid that big fine

I had to do a fast hill climb, but a faster decline

But I flew a bit quick, arms like a lunatic

Had to stop for a few ticks, I started feeling sick

Got to the video shop in a state, but chuffed it wouldn't be late

Only when he flicked open the case, I'd left the disc at my place

Today I've achieved absolutely nought

In just being out of the house, I've lost out

If I wanted to end up with more now

I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how

So I failed on the DVD, but I still had to get the money

Tell mum I couldn't make tea, get the saving and then hurry

Rushing to the cash machine, still a bit mashed and lean

Then of course a mandatory car, drives by and splashes me

Get there the queue's outrageous, ladies taking ages

My rage is blowing gauges, how longs it take to validate your wages?

At last my turn comes, press the 50 quid button

Insufficient funds

Today I've achieved absolutely nought

In just being out of the house, I've lost out

If I wanted to end up with more now

I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how

So I failed on the DVD, couldn't withdraw any money

But I still had to call mum, get the savings and hurry

So to call mum so that, I could tell her I cant go and that

At least I remembered my phone man, I didn't know her number offhand

Where's my phone have I got it, Oh this is a crock of shit

I lost the fucking thing, oh here it is in my pocket

But the batteries nearly flat, gotta call quick snap

Aww shit, the battery is flat

Today I've achieved absolutely nought

In just being out of the house, I've lost out

If I wanted to end up with more now

I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how

So Ive failed on the DVD, couldnt withdraw any money

Or call mum about tea, I'll have to get the savings and hurry

But where was the money, I knew I'd left it on the

Side, next to the telly, this is not even funny

I left it in the living room, ready to pick up as soon

As I passed through, on the way out to the rendevous

So the shoebox full of money, just disappearing from me

Is not what I call funny, a grand dont come for free

Today I've achieved absolutely nought

In just being out of the house, I've lost out

If I wanted to end up with more now

I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how



(Oi, soaked to the bone in my jeans, do you want me to stop?

I imagine my mums weaping right now

And the thousand pounds you swore, that I left on the table this morn

Has simply disappeared before my eyes, his eyes and yours

And I'm a thousand pounds poorer, a hundred thousand pennies, no more

A thousandth of a million quid, or two monkeys or a whole fifty scores

Gone withdrawn from my life, the money is no more for sure)

It was supposed to be so easy