You turn the oven on, I'll light a match
You stick your head in the oven
We'll all go up in one big flash
Won't dial nine one one, they shut off the phone
I had the money once
I'd rather we had a happy home

Which one of the two of us is gonna burn this house down?
Which one of the two of us will burn it right down?
Which one of us is gonna burn this house down?

Tell me so so I can find out
So I can try and put it out
Because the best thing to do for fire prevention week 
Is if me and you could just not speak

You know how to wind me up, just talk about him 
Mention his name just one more time
And no one's ever gonna see him again
Chicken with a lit cigarette don't scare a guy like me
You can burn a hole in your hand -
Just don't burn a hole in the sheets

Which one of the two of us is gonna burn this house down?
Which one of the two of us will burn it right down?
Which one of us is gonna burn this house down?

Let me know in advance, so maybe there can be a chance 
If we line the place with fireproof sheets
We'll just make it through the week
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh 

You got a big book of matches in your hand 
Each one you light makes me less of a man 
That faggot in a jacket don’t scare a man like me 
Take it out on him, don't take it out on me

Which one of the two of us is gonna burn this house down?
Which one of the two of us will burn it right down?
Which one of us is gonna burn this house down?

Tell me your desire, so I can put out your fire 
If I see the cops coming down the street
I know which one I'm gonna meet

Which one of the two of us is gonna burn this house down?
Which one of the two of us will burn it right down?
Which one of us is gonna burn this house down?