I am a man of means(of slender means)
     each household appliance
     is like a new science in my town
     and if a day came when I felt a
     natural emotion
     I'd get such a shock I'd probably jump
     in the ocean
     and when a train goes by
     it's such a sad sound

     I'd like to drop my trousers to the Queen
     every sensible child will know what this means
     the poor and the needy
     are selfish and greedy on her terms
     and if the day came when I felt a
     natural emotion
     I'd get such a shock I'd probably jump
     in the ocean
     and when a train goes by
     it's such a sad song

     And when I'm lying in my bed
     I think about life
     and I think about death
     and neither one particularly appeals to me
     and if the day came when I felt a
     natural emotion
     I'd get such a shock I'd probably lie
     in the middle of the street and die
     I'd lie down and die