went down on one knee
     well, could it be
     he's only got one knee?
     I tried to surprise you
     with Vodka
     or, Tizer
     I can't quite remember
     but you didn't thank me
     you didn't even thank me
     because you never do

     Your boyfriend, he
     has the gift of the gab
     or, could it be
     the gift of the grab?
     I tried to surprise you
     I lay down beside you
     and...nothing much happened
     and you didn't phone me
     you didn't even phone me
     because it's not your style
     to dial

     Your boyfriend, he
     displays to me
     more than just
     a hint of cruelty
     I tried to surprise you
     I crept up behind you
     with a homeless chihuahua
     you gushed for an hour
     you handed him back and said
     "You'll never guess
     I'm bored now