[Shary Bobbins]
In front of a tavern, flat on his face
A boozehound named Barney is pleading his case...
[Barney]
Buy me a beer just two bucks a glass
C'mon help me I'm freezing my ass
Buy me a brandy or a snifter of wine
Who am I kidding, I'll just drink turpentine

Move it, ya drunk
Or I'll blast your rear end
[Barney]  But I found two bucks
[Moe]   Then come in, my friend
[Shary Bobbins]   And so, let us leave on this heartwarming scene
[Bart]   Can I be a boozehound?
[Homer]   Not 'til you're fifteen