(All completely capital words are sounds.)

You could close down Moe's or the Kwik-e-Mart, and nobody would care
But the heart and sole of Springfield's in
Are Maisson Derriere

We're the sauce on your steak
We're the cheese in your cake
We put the spring in Springfield

We're the lace on your nightgown
The point after touchdown
Yes we put the spring in Springfield

We're that little extra spice that makes exsistence extra nice
A giddy little thrill at a reasonable price

Our only major quarrels are your total lack of morals

Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad
They seem to entertain your dad

The gin in your martini
The clams on your linguinie
Yes we keep the BOING in Springfield

We remember our first visit
The service waas exsquisite

Why Joseph I had no idea
Come on now you were working here

Without it we'd of had no fun since March of 1961
To shut them down now would be twisted
We just heard this place existed

We're the highlights in your hairdo
The extra arms on Vishnu
So don't take a BOING

We won't take a (Slidewhistle noise)
Yes let's keep the BAM
In Springfield!