As I drove out toward Dublin

On a warm September day

I stopped for a cold beer

At a smokey pub in Bray

I spied a pretty waitress, standing with a tray

She could not believe her ears, when she heard me say



Waitress, oh waitress, come sit on my face

Eating ain't cheating, it's no disgrace

Bring me a cold beer, make it a case

Waitress, oh waitress, sit on my face



Walked over to the jukebox, I was feeling kind of mean

The waittress said "hey stupid, that's a cigarette machine"

I turned to the waitress, who was standing by the bar,

"If that ain't a jukebox honey you can smoke my cigar."



Waitress, oh waitress, come sit on my face

Eating ain't cheating, it's no disgrace

Bring me a cold beer, make it a case

Waitress, oh waitress, sit on my face



Yes I come from Wicklow, Wicklow is my home

And I'm on my way to Dublin and I'm feeling so alone

I got me a job playing guitar, I play a bit on TV

Put down your tray, get your pay, come sing along with me

All aboard, this face leaves in 5 minutes