I tried so hard to be good.

I really did;

to keep my comments inaudible,

to smooth the curl of distain

from my lips and nostrils.

I can't really help myself,

despite the kind of intentions

that de-motivate me

to give myself away

in small, bloody strips

to anyone who asks,

and some who don't.



(nothing helps)



I've tried to put everything

in the right place,

to find order, accomplishment,

accommodate.

Never to upset

the carefully orchestrated atmosphere

of those I attend to,

but could not help.



(this is an ugly thing)



Happiness could be yours,

absently.