Harold:

No wide-eyed, eager,

Wholesome innocent Sunday school teacher for me.

That kinda girl spins webs no spider ever--

Listen, boy--

A girl who trades on all that purity

Merely wants to trade my independence for her security.

The only affirmative she will file

Refers to marching down the aisle.

No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess--

No sir! 

For no Diana do I play faun.

I can tell you that right now. 

I snarl, I hiss: How can ignorance be compared to bliss?

I spark, I fizz for the lady who knows what time it is.

I cheer, I rave for the virtue I'm too late to save

The sadder-but-wiser girl for me.

No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby

Not for me. 

That kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew. 

I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance. 

No dewy young miss

Who keeps resisting all the time she keeps insisting!

No wide-eyed, wholesome innocent female. 

No sir.

Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish you see?--PLOP!

I flinch, I shy, when the lass with the delicate air goes by

I smile, I grin, when the gal with a touch of sin walks in.

I hope, and I pray, for a Hester to win just one more "A"

The sadder-but-wiser girl's the girl for me.

The sadder-but-wiser girl for me.