Townspeople:

Oh, there's nothing halfway

About the Iowa way to treat you,

When we treat you

Which we may not do at all. 

There's an Iowa kind of special 

Chip-on-the-shoulder attitude. 

We've never been without.

That we recall.

We can be cold

As our falling thermometers in December 

If you ask about our weather in July.

And we're so by God stubborn

We could stand touchin' noses

For a week at a time

And never see eye-to-eye.

But what the heck, you're welcome,

Join us at the picnic.

You can eat your fill 

Of all the food you bring yourself.

You really ought to give Iowa a try. 

Provided you are contrary,

We can be cold

As our falling thermometer in December

If you ask about our weather in July.

And we're so by God stubborn

We can stand touchin' noses

For a week at a time

And never see eye-to-eye.

But we'll give you our shirt

And a back to go with it 

If your crops should happen to die.



Farmer:

So, what the heck, you're welcome,

Glad to have you with us.



Farmer and Wife: 

Even though we may not ever mention it again.



Townspeople:

You really ought to give Iowa

Hawkeye Iowa

Dubuque, Des 

Moines, Davenport, Marshalltown,

Mason City, Keokuk, Ames,

Clear Lake

Ought to give Iowa a try!