I remember back in high school getting' high was tons 
of fun
Its much easier to score some weed than to drink before 
you're 21
At that age I thought alcohol was square, drinking just 
something old folks do
Course if we got our hands on some, well hell, we'll 
drink like old folks too
Its different now when you get older and you're getting 
on in your years
I've become so much more civilized since moving on to 
spirits and beers
So today if I wanna act an ass and gag, puke, stagger, 
and fall
I'm gonna do it in the trusted handsÂ…of good old 
alcohol
That good ol alcohol
One more before last call
Can make you feel a mile high
If you've been feeling small
Yes, every now and then
I call upon my friend
That good ol, good ol, good old alcohol!
When I was younger my thing was hippy drugs
Like hashish, caps, and lids
Had a dug-out with zoso written on
Where I kept my one hitter hid
Amphetamine just wasn't my speed 
And cocaine will make you go broke
But man oh man, I sure could go for that marijuana 
smoke
I'd use a bong, or bowl, or rollin' papers, or any 
other smoke components
Then I'd rip right through two boxes of Little Miss' 
coffee cake covered donuts
And if you found your self stranded with no 
paraphanalia at all
You could always poke some holes through empty cans of 
alcohol
That good ol alcohol finds you in the bathroom stall
With your face inside the toilet, curled up in a little 
ball
Yeah once you've done my friend, you'll come runnin' 
back again
For some good ol, good ol, good old alcohol!
The mescaline you scored at cheap's meadow looked like 
little candy nerds
That shit'll make you crap your pants and backwards 
speak your words
Ate an 1/8th of psychedellic mushroom at my buddy's 
girlfriends place
Listened to ‘Lectric Lady land three times over again 
with a strobe light in my face
Then there was LSD; some double dipped and some were 
window paine
Some bart simpson, some blue unicorn, andÂ…uh, some of 
them just plain.
12 hours later trying to get high on shakes, seeds, and 
stems will do fuck-all
Only way to ease that come-down is with some good ol 
alcohol
That good ol alcohol, when the doctor needs a call
He may offer you some perkaset or even demoral
Yet when you're high and dry, nothing else will get you 
by 
Like some good ol, good ol, good old alcohol!
There will come one morning after when you will wake up 
and you will say
Goddamn I'm getting' too old for thisÂ…what time is it 
and what day?
Where are all my Goddamn clothes and where's my wallet, 
shoes, and keys
Where goddamn hell am I and goddamn it hurts when I try 
to pee
Now my liver's limp, synapses spent, and my nerve 
endings are fried
Got through many a trying night, the kind where 
stronger men have died
But I've seen it, smelled it, ate it, tasted it,
Slid it, hit it, chased it, wasted it, puffed it, 
huffed it
Dosed it, toast it, Rolled it n sold it n tin foil 
bowled it
I've smoked poked, copped, popped 
Mixed, fixed, chopped, dropped
Licked, kicked, toked n choked…weaked ‘n' peeked & woke 
n boke
I've scored it and hoarded itÂ…I've snorted it and 
sorted it
I've Slipped it, lipped it, sipped it and roach clipped 
it
I've cleaned it and fiended it, I've laced it and 
tasted it
I've dipped it and chewed it, Zig zag and bambooed it
I've cold turkey and restarted it
I've discarded and bogarted it
I've taken it and I've shaken it
I've stirred it and I've slurred and blurred it allÂ…
And there ain't a goddamn thing I trust as muchÂ…as good 
old alcohol!
That good ol alcoholÂ…one more before last call
Can make you feel a mile high if you've been feeling 
small
Yes every now and then I'll call upon my friend
That good ol good ol good ol alcohol
That good ol good ol good ol alcohol
That good ol good ol good ol alcohol
…smoke ‘em if you got ‘em!