Stefan:
Okay, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Howdy partner, my names Stef. Rhymes so bad, I'll rhyme you to death
My English teacher said I should quit. When I rock the mic, I rock the mic
Shit.
Freestyling Stef, that's my name Being a massive players my game.
If you can't handle it, I'll put you in pain. You'll end up in the hospital
Wayne
Bruce Wayne, that's what I mean, Batman and the Robin team. With his dick,
That's his weapon,
Weapon of choice.
Hello everybody, my name is Stef. Another introduction, could rhyme you to
Death.
The same old words, used again. Recycling that's my- That's my art, I'm
Good at art
Not good at painting not good at far- noise- Everybody knows that I'm a
Really good rapper.
Everybody knows per-rapper, the rapper, the game, on playstation, PS1.
Hello girls let- come to the club, ~Laughing~ we'll dance, we'll, we'll
Hug, we'll kiss, we'll snog.
1, 2, 3 I'm the rapper Stefan James Donald John Abingdon, everybody knows
That I'm number
One. In the club I do dances, putting trances, I said that line before
It's recycling, I've even recycled the recycling line, motherfucker whoa,
Yeah
Uh, yeah we're The Midnight Beast, Drew's allergic to glutton and yeast
Is it useful(?). Glutton, Glutton, Sausages, Glutton. I'm a rapper from the
Bad rap
I'm from a bad neighborhood called Fulham. We don't ~Laughing~
~I can't think of anymore, Uhm Okay~

Chorus
We can't rap or freestyle that well
That's why we make the chorus catchy as hell
We can't rap and our free-stylings whack
But what do you expect from the secret track

Drew:
~Yeah, funky beats, nasty dirty sex music, and the beat goes and the beat
Goes~
My name is Drew and I like to party, I really don't look like Tom fucking
Hardy
Sometimes my bum goes a little bit farty, but hey ~noise~ Sorry
Arguably the worst rapper alive, but what other rappers still drinking five
Alive
Got some daddy issues, have some tissues, thanks mister
And we know that I really be spitting this, lyrical shit, person pitch
Sounds a bit like passion pit, what is this, bloody hell I'm looking at
Things in the room for inspiration
Yeah, southwest, you know we're south best. We rhyme with the. Tightest.
Fly-est.
I'm all alone, you tag along. Now you're pregnant too, no you're not.
Whoops did we have sex
I think not ~Laughing~
Weezer, Wheezing, it's freezing, what the fuck am I doing in this freezer
Everything can rhyme with poo, I once sat on the loo, and I was nude
What is he saying
I'm Andrew Francis Wakley. That's right, I got a little bit of French in me
Not in me at the bum, just quarter French, if you're asking, maybe about a
Fifth, probably not even that, it's just Francis really it's a name
~Laughing~

Chorus
We can't rap or freestyle that well
That's why we make the chorus catchy as hell
We can't rap and our free-styling's whack
But what do you expect from the secret track

Ash:
~Oh yeah, Okay, Okay, Here we go, Here we go, Here we go with the flow~
Hello girl what's your name, my name is Ash, I like your name.
Yeah that's right, I named a name, but what you expect when your rapping
Skills are lame
Swagga, Swagga, I've got swagga, Hop digga, digga, digga, swagga, swagga,
Swagga
Don't be jealous, 'cause I'm badder than you, badder than you, sadder than
You, badder than you
What's my name, my name is Ash, I got loads of cash, I've got nappy rash
But what do you expect from a guy from Reading. Rapping skills that aren't
That very good
I'm a harsh boy rapper from Reading, I've got really good bedding. It's
Got really nice feathers in it
It's really soft, really soft, really soft, really soft. Ba, dagga, ooh.
My name is Mogley, I'm from the jungle. I like to swing, in the trees
I can't really rap so I make loud noises; ~noises~ Okay ~more noises~
Hop, digga, digga, dagga, dom, badda, boo, sippa, la, ba, da, dagga, ha,
Dagga, ooh, skip, ubba, dubba, dabba, sub, bub, la, buzza, buzza, buzza,
Buzza, canna, getta, oh, eh, ooh
Bubble gum up my bum, it's really numb, I gotta get it outta there before
It makes my bum all sticky
Jedward, Jedward, what you gonna do next
How does Eminem rap, so well, because he's American. And I'm English
~Laughing~
Oh, my god, Ah well

Chrous
We can't rap or freestyle that well
That's why we make the chorus catchy as hell
We can't rap and our free-styling's whack
But what do you expect from the secret track

Thumbs up, thumbs up, thumb up my bum up ~Laughing~