Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review. 

No problem. 

So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say? 

Absolutely, I'm the boss. 

Well, so take us through a day in the life of, "The Boss". 

Well the first thing I do is-- 



Talk to corporate (like a boss) 

Approve memos (like a boss) 

Read a workshop (like a boss) 

Remember birthdays (like a boss) 

Direct work-flow (like a boss) 

My own bathroom (like a boss) 

Micro-manage (like a boss) 

Promote synergy (like a boss) 



Hit on Deborah (like a boss) 

Get rejected (like a boss) 

Swallow sadness (like a boss) 

Send some faxes (like a boss) 

Call a sex line (like a boss) 

Cry deeply (like a boss) 

Demand a refund (like a boss) 

Eat a bagel (like a boss) 



Harassment Lawsuit (like a boss) 

No Promotion (like a boss) 

5th of vodka (like a boss) 

Shit on Deborah's desk (like a boss) 

Buy a gun (like a boss) 

In my mouth (like a boss) 

Oh fuck man, I can't fucking do it, shit! 



Pussy out (like a boss) 

Puke on Deborah's desk (like a boss) 

Jump out the windows (like a boss) 

Suck a dude's dick (like a boss) 

Score some coke (like a boss) 

Crash my car (like a boss) 

Suck my own dick (like a boss) 

Eat some chicken strips (like a boss) 



Chop my balls off (like a boss) 

Black out in the sewer (like a boss) 

Meet a giant fish (like a boss) 

Fuck his brains out (like a boss) 

Turn into a jet (like a boss) 

Bomb the Russians (like a boss) 

Crash into the Sun (like a boss) 

Now I'm dead (like a boss) 



Uh huh. So that's an... average day for you then. 

No doubt. 

You chopped your balls off and died. 

Hell yeah. 

And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick? 

Nope. 

Actually, I'm pretty sure you did. 

Nah, that ain't me. 

OK, well this has been eye-opening for me. 

I'm the boss. 

Ya, I know, I got that. You said it about 400 times. 

I'm the boss. 

Ya, ya, I got it. 

I'm the boss. 

No, I heard you, see you later! 

(like a boss)