(feat. Norah Jones)
(The following song is brought to you by Chex Mix) 



Some dude once said that love is a many funny things 

I know there's a perfect girl out there for me, cuz I see her 

in my dreams 



Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one 

Out there for me 

My love 



Dream girl you amaze me all dressed in paisley 

Love how not one but both eyes are lazy 

When I first saw you you were drivin' the bus 

Thick skin, strong nose like a rhinoceros 



Dream girl so beautiful, lips all crumby 

Skin like asphalt, nose so runny 

Thick thighs, no waist, not a care in the world 

You not crazy girl, you just my baby girl 



If you envision in sweats with the neon patch 

Half eaten squirrel hangin' outta your mouth 

Rainbow poncho, the female tonto 

Hear a loud noise drop a bucket like a bronco 



Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one 

Out there for me 

My love 



You got your cellphone ring set to Sex and the City 

You like a hot bowl of gritz only way more gritty 

Straight drippin' your turquoise my Santa Fe queen 

One short leg you got the Santa Fe Lean 



It's music to my ears when you scream in your sleep 

And when you lift your skirt in public yo I can't help but peek 

You like Cleopatra with the eyes of a pig 

Love to watch you in the backer when you go out to dig 



Girl how'd you get those mouse traps glued to your neck 

Little rascal, how'd you get screwed to the deck? 

You put away slurpees like a trash can 



Your smiles all stainy and your not too brainy and 

I like that! 



Talking to your shoes lke it's your friend 

I like that! 



Yellin' at the walls of make pretend 

I like that! 



Tellin' you to stop it then you don't 

You said you gonna stop it in my sleep 

But you won't! 



Last week thought I saw you on the straight turn that was a bag of trash 

Just a big ol' bag of trash 

I thought you look like a bag of trash 



Dream girl I pitch a tent when you stomp in the room 

Like a hellbound turkey mixed with a baboon 

Your sexy and your spicy like a bowl of Chex Mix 

And I always feel safe when I'm in your flesh mitts 



Your teeth so clean coulda swore you were British 

Never take the Chex Mix cuz you always get skinnish 

Open clamps with both feet cuz your ambidextrous 

No point cuz we know you eat nothin' but Chex Mix 



Chex Mix number one food snack in the land 

It's the cereal taste that you eat with your hand 

Chex Mix at your local grocer buy your box 

Your family will all say 

CHEX MIX ROCKS! 



Chex Mix, your the snack for me, your the only one 

I'll ever eat or buy 

Chex Mix your delicious, you got 60% less fat than potato chips 

The end