My friend Jimmy works on the Union Pacific line
Passed me a line about 9 AM
And since then I been feeling fine
Passed a fifth of Old Kentucky in his garage all day
Using tattoos like old photo albums,
We reminisced the olden days
Jimmy put a cigarette where his front teeth used to be
Got in his truck and pulled six beers
From underneath his seat
He said "I gotta go to work or
The wife's gonna holler at me"
So I hopped in grabbed a beer and drank my way
To the beer hall down the street

Hey friend, when you gonna take me home?
'Cause I'm too drunk for driving but I think it's time to go
Scotch and cocaine, whiskey, beer and gin
Heaven help me if I see the letters DUI again

When Jimmy dropped me off it was 3 in the PM
That Mississippi sun made the barroom look mighty dim
Me and three old timers all hunkered at the bar
Bought four shots of bourbon with money that
I squandered from my penny jar
Whiskey kept a flowing as the sun went down
Warming my insides 8 ounces syrupy, sweet and brown
Checking the door for the law or my wife
They know where to find me
I guess they ain't looking for me tonight
Guess they ain't looking for me tonight
They ain't looking for me tonight

Hey friend, when you gonna take me home?
'Cause I'm too drunk for driving but I think it's time to go
Scotch and cocaine, whiskey, beer and gin
Heaven help me if I see the letters DUI again

So now it's 3 AM and the cocaine's all but gone
If I can buy a bottle from the bar
Then I can make it through till dawn
Double vision, double trouble if I get behind the wheel
'Cause my guts are rotten from too many prison meals
My guts are rotten from too many prison meals

Hey friend, when you gonna take me home?
'Cause I'm too drunk for driving but I think it's time to go
Scotch and cocaine, whiskey, beer and gin
Heaven help me if I see the letters
Heaven help me if I see the letters
Oh, heaven help me if I see the letters DUI again
Again