A schooner sat at bay while the crew all ran amok

The men they gathered on the pier to see if they were 

stuck

They shouted to the ship “Why are you still here in 

dock?”

‘Cuz the Captain got his knackers caught in the 

mainsheet block.



I’ve seen old women blush from the tales that sailors 

told

Of bawdy, ribald adventures some new ones and some old

Scandalous journeys that they’ve taken some long and 

some short

But the worst one that I heard of was a ship stuck in 

port



The first mate was in charge of making the ship go

But the matey’s got a cask of rum and his whore below

And the boson was belting out a crass and crude old 

song

It’s about a cuckoo’s nest but he got the words all 

wrong



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The cabin boy laughed and said it’s time now for some 

fun

And he lights off the powder in the foremast gun

The shot it caused a scream below from the first mate’s 

whore

Who up and shouted “Chuck it! I’m going off ashore.”



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Then the mate came up on deck and said, “We all should 

go,

I know a place where girls are cheap and the rum it 

freely flows”

The crew all asked, “Should we invite the captain, to 

be nice”

“Hell no! He’ll stay below with his knackers on some 

ice!”



[CHORUS]



[CHORUS]